margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Fuck appropriateness.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize