Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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