I am puke
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
