Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
