Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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