Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
