he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
