I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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