census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
