i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
