honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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