You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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