well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
