My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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