So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
