I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
