help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she smelled like a LAN party
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
