Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
