If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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