I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
