There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am available for nakedness
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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