All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
