I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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