I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
