I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize