I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
