How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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