U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
