dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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