Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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