i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to sanitize my soul.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
