Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
