is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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