Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
