One girl and one boy is just not enough.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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