I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
