If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You dont lie about slip and slides
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
