I wanna bring you to show and tell
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
