Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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