At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
