I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
