it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
