I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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