New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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