I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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