Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
