A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Come on in and take your pants off
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