did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My breasts were aching with rage.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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