why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
