I am in a vortex of obligation.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
