Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I need help removing her.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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