I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
